I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
