i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Someone signed my nipple.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
