if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
