hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
