haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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