i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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