I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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