I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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