did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
