I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
