I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
