I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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