Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
