Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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