spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
