seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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