This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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