I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
So here I am, sexting at work.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
