I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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