When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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