i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
