the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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