At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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