When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
