I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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