we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
