yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
