Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
