lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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