hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize