i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
