i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
