Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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