Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize