How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
