Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
