Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
