I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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