gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
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