i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
