He kissed a someone with a penis
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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