I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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