people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
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If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
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Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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