All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
