Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize