shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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