Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
