I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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