I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Send help, water and tortillas.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
