do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
