I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
