Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
