I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
