I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
