Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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