Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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