He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
