WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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