Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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