I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
