its not stalking. its research.
this beer tastes like vomit already
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
